I’m haunted by ghosts.
Not the Casper kind or even floating bodies of the deceased, but wolves of the past and present.
Every night they howl and beckon me to join them and every night, my wolf refuses to emerge. Before Dad died, he always said since I was a late bloomer my wolf might be too. Yet with my twentieth birthday only two months away, it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever be able to shift any time soon.
If I can't become a wolf, the community will reject me and I'll be on my own. How can I leave though when my father is buried here? When there are a handful of good memories of my childhood before the pressure to shift and severely failing punch inside me with every heartbeat.
I jog up the well-worn path in the woods from our town. Not even being out here in nature calls my wolf to the surface, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.
Once I chased a rabbit, hoping to bring out my animal side, and got a mouthful of dirt when I tripped over a tree root for my trouble.
My whole life, I’ve dreamed of becoming a wolf and not feeling like an outcast. To truly belong to the pack and not have mothers jerk their kids away if they venture too close to me. To find a partner who will accept and love me. Someone I can race through the forest with and have a family. Tell our children the same stories my dad used to tell me.
To finally feel like I belong as a member of a pack and fellow werewolf.
Would my wolf have blue fur, matching my hair? Many of the dark-haired people in our pack became dark wolves or at least have parts of dark fur on them and light-haired people are white or gray wolves.
“And miss the opportunity of seeing you on all fours and in heat?” He steps closer to me, invading my space.
What he really means is he wants to ruin me, break me, and make me a submissive Omega that begs for his touch. No thank you.
I take a step back, struggling to hold my anger. Lashing out against the Alpha’s son won’t get me any brownie points. “Leave me alone.”
“Soon you’ll be begging for me during your first heat.” He wipes his mouth with his thumb like I’m a juicy steak he wants to tear into and I want to vomit.
The wind whips around us, making me shiver.
All the wolves around him laugh at my expense. My hair sticks to my face and I sigh, doing the only thing I can despite knowing I’ll be punished for it. I flick him off.
Javier’s lips curl back in a snarl, his eyes lock on mine and I feel the brush of rage rising.
“F**king b**ch.”He leaps at me.
Before I can react, his wolf granting him speed, he slams into me. His fist collides with my jaw. Pain radiates along half my face.
The ground rushes up, slamming into my body as I roll.
Throbbing pain radiates through my skull and the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth.
“You think you can get away with that, Jenny?” Javier growls, his eyes locking on mine, a predatory gleam in them. “You think you can walk away from me?”
“I-I—” I’m not sure what I’m saying. My jaw throbs and I’m having trouble breathing. I can’t believe the Alpha’s son did this. If my pack found out, I’d be forced to leave. Cause nothing was ever Javier’s fault. It’s my word against his and his pals.
Fear claws up my throat. I'm trembling as I scramble backward, trying to get away from him. My a** hits against an oak tree that blocks my escape.
“You know what?” Javier reaches down and grabs me by the throat, hauling me up to my feet. “I think it’s time I teach you a lesson.”
My feet dangle in the air as I struggle to kick him. I claw at his hand and he laughs.
“It would be so easy to squeeze your f**king neck. End any nightmare of you mixing blood and tainting our pack with your kind.”
“I-I’m wolf too,” I choked out against his hold.
“You’re no wolf.” Javier's breath tastes like stale beer with a hint of corn and his touch is slimy and sticky with a greasy, rubbery feel to it. “You’re puny and weak. I'm gonna make you every male's Omega bitch---our pack needs a prostitute 'cause no one will want to be your mate.”
No, they just want to use me and throw me away like garbage. A fire burns in my chest as I mentally scream at my wolf to come out. She’s been hiding too long, afraid of being banished or whatever the hell is keeping her caged, but Javier is going to kill me if I don’t shift.
Dad had named me Jennifer as I was born with this turquoise-colored hair. Half our people said it was a sign I would be a unique wolf and the other half thought it was a curse.
With the years flying past and no transformation, the majority of the pack sided with me being a bad omen. Their rejection makes me feel like I'm slowly suffocating inside. Like I'll never be whole, never be accepted, no matter how hard I try.