Recently, I've been living a life that felt worse than death because I lost my two-year-old daughter.
A month ago, our manager asked me to go on a business trip with him to Yunnan. My daughter was fine when I left, but as soon as I arrived in Yunnan, my mother-in-law called and told me that my daughter seemed to be unwell and needed to go to the hospital.
Later, I couldn't help but worry, so I called Hu Wei several times in the evening, but he didn't answer. There was also no answer when I called home.
Early the next morning, I took the earliest high-speed train back home. But when I arrived at noon, I was told that my daughter didn't make it through the night and had been cremated in the morning. I was devastated and fainted on the spot.
My mother-in-law and husband explained that our daughter had a congenital heart disease and died suddenly because of it. They said they didn't let me come back to see her for the last time as they didn't want to cause me too much grief.
I couldn't accept this explanation. That child was a part of me, why didn't they let me see her for the last time? Moreover, the previous medical check-ups never mentioned her having a congenital heart disease.
After burying my child, I was so full of sorrow that I didn't eat for a week, lost ten pounds, and fainted several times.
My husband treated me well, accompanied me to the hospital to get a health check, and expressed his desire to have a child soon to help me alleviate the pain of losing our daughter.
With his encouragement and comfort, I forced myself to overcome the grief and started to go back to work. After all, life must go on.
One day after work, like usual, I took Bus No.12 to the local market near my community to buy groceries. But when I got home, I was stunned to find my mother-in-law, who never cooks, had prepared dinner, and some of the dishes were my favorites.
I was somewhat flabbergasted. My mother-in-law is a minor leader in the community office and always carried herself very formally. Never mind cooking, she’d never even help with the dishes. All the housework fell on me. So, her cooking dinner seemed as if the sun had risen in the west.
The atmosphere at the dinner was somewhat gloomy. My mother-in-law kept shooting glances at Hu Wei several times, as if hinting him to say something, and Hu Wei seemed on the verge of speaking but hesitated.
Perceiving something was not right, I took the initiative to ask my mother-in-law, "Mom, if you have something to say, just say it directly. We are family, there's nothing we can't discuss."
Coughing lightly, she added a piece of fish to my bowl, "Suya, you're right, we are family, so we should understand each other, shouldn't we?"
I silently nodded, feeling a sense of unease.
My mother-in-law coughed lightly again and added another piece of meat to my bowl, seemingly pondering over her choice of words. Hu Wei next to me looked nervous while my father-in-law put down his bowl and walked into another room.
"Suya, the medical reports of your check-up with Hu Wei came out a couple of days ago. An old friend of mine who is an expert in this field mentioned that due to your previous miscarriages, it may no longer be possible for you to conceive."
The gentle words of my mother-in-law felt like a thunderbolt next to my ears, making my head buzz, blanking out everything around me, as I stared blankly at her.
"You know, the Hu family has had only one male heir for three generations; if Hu Wei doesn't have a child, this lineage will come to an end with this generation. So after some discussion, we've come up with a solution – that you and Hu Wei should divorce. He can then find another woman to have a child with, and you could marry someone who already has children but is divorced. This way, both parties would essentially solve the child issue."
Before I could even fully recover from the shock that I may not be able to bear children, my mother-in-law dropped a second bombshell – that they want me to divorce Hu Wei!