It was a lonely night for me. The sky was starless as it was covered by the deep gray clouds around. The moon was likely peeking yet doesn’t shine as bright as the yesterday night.
I sighed with the thought.
I am on the rooftop, waiting for the sky to calm my thoughts. It used to calm my mind and ease my heart from things that’s bugging me lately.
My grades for the first quarter weren’t that nice compare last year. It gone too bad.
I had good grades yet I don’t have any trusted friends. I am friends with anyone but thinking that they will just use me because I am one of the outstanding students, encouraged me not to trust anyone easily.
I am that girl who is very silent, polite and obedient. The rare one. I realized that this society is full of toxicity, and I find myself weird and different.
I love myself because of that. I used to loved the old me. But now, I am not sure. I feel that I was lost. I lost myself in the process. I miss my old self now.
My old self that really wants to study and eagerly wants to get high grades, aiming to be one of the outstanding students, making my parent proud, and wanting to be successful in the future because I want to reciprocate the sacrifices of my family on me.
I smiled contentedly. I looked down and went silent for a moment.
“ Oh, God, help me with my life. Guide me to the right path and ease my worries,” I mumbled a prayer.
I looked at the sky that still starless but give me contentment. Everything will be fine.
I heard some foot steps from the metallic stairs. It stopped when I felt a present beside me. I look at him and instantly smiled when I saw my cute little brother smiling widely at me. I felt like his eyes were glistening as he looks at me. That made me giggled and diverted my thoughts for a while.
“ What does my brother want, hm? ” I asked and carried him on my arms.
He is nearly three years old. He can talk some words and loves to smile. His smiles were the cutest and I love this side of him.
I leaned on the railings protecting us as we both watch the darkness of the sky. He also loves watching it.
“Why you sad?” I heard my brother mumbled. I looked at him and saw that he was pouting his lips. So cute…
“I am not sad, baby,” I answered him and smiled. “You’re so cute.” I didn’t controlled myself and slightly pinched his cheeks. That made it red.
“You want huggie?” He asked again that made me chuckled.
“Is it free?” I teased.
“Buy me berries first, please…” he pouted again.
“ Oh, so your huggie is not free?” I pouted too. “ I won’t buy you berries.”
I was suppressing my smile when he looked at me. He was pleading. I wasn’t expected when he opened his little arms as he sat on my lap.
“Huggie!” He said excitedly. I giggled and hugged him.
He is really cute. He always made my day. He is my favorite. My little brother.
“Okay, I will buy you berries tomorrow.”
He has those cheeky smile as he look at me. He give a kiss on my cheeks that made me instantly smile.
“ Ford, you need to sleep now.”
We heard my mother yelled downstairs. My brother is pouting again when he heard that. He can clearly understand that thing as it always happens whenever my mother needs to make him sleep.
I saw my mom on the stairs looking at us. She was still on her business attire and she looks tired. I saw contentment as she walks towards us. When she was in front of me, she reached my brother on my lap and kissed him on his cheeks.
“ Let’s sleep, booby,” my mother said sweetly to Ford, my brother. That made my brother giggled and clang to our mother even more. He likes that name especially when my mom call him that.
“ You sleep too, Leia,” she added. “ it’s late already.”
“ Yes, mommy. I’ll go after a few minutes.” I smiled.
She didn’t looked satisfied at my response. I saw her brows slightly furrowed as she was staring at me.
“ You okay?”
“ Ah, yeah. I’m fine.”
“ Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”
“ Sure. Thank you for your time mom.” I said. That made her stopped midway when she was about to go back.
“ I’m sorry, Leia.” She sincerely said.
I just smiled to her. She didn’t looked back and walked downstairs, leaving me alone.
I looked at the sky one more time but I got distracted when an unfamiliar guy was on the street walk and his back was facing on my direction. He was looking upward as if he was looking at moon, standing alone at the middle of the streets.
He wears a black leather jacket and a fitted denim long pants. He looks very badass and it added especially his cap covering his face. I can’t clearly see it. I stared at him for a moment thinking that maybe his a bad guy when he suddenly look at me upstairs.
The light from the street light shine on his white beautiful face. He looks good even though we are afar from each other. I can see his eyebrows furrowed when he looked at me.
He then look down and removed his cap that made his hair disheveled. He look at me again for the last time that made me shock for a moment before walking away from standing in front of our house.
What a strange handsome guy he is.