Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling!
As dawn barely began to break, Li Danggui, still in deep sleep, was jolted awake by a frantic and sharp alarm clock.
He extended a hand and grappled around blindly on the bedside table, turning off the annoying alarm clock. His mind was languishing and foggy, but he still struggled for a while before managing to open his eyes and get up.
"Why does the day start before the rooster's crow? When will it end?" he lamented.
He looked at his handsome and refined face reflected in the mirror, straightened his sleep-ruffled hair, and narcissistically complimented, "Damn, this guy's truly handsome."
Once more glancing at the tattered T-shirt and faded jeans he had on, he frowned, "But damn, these clothes are really ragged."
Although he really didn't want to get up so early, as a senior high school student who was three days away from his college entrance examination, he had to present a dedicated appearance to his family in these final days. With a heavy heart, he bid a temporary goodbye to the goddess of his dreams.
After refreshing, the sky was bright, with only half an hour left until morning class started. It would take him twenty-five minutes to get from home to school, so in short, he was out of time.
After getting dressed and leaving his room, the dimly lit rented house was only occupied by his grandfather, Li Jinrong. At this hour, his parents had already set off pushing a breakfast cart to sell morning meals.
"Grandpa, I'm going to school."
Li Jinrong responded, handling a worn-out Bagua mirror he picked up from a roadside stall, saying nonchalantly, "I have already consulted the esteemed elder, he said you will definitely get into a good university, don't worry."
"Here's hoping your words come true."
Li Danggui rolled his eyes, put on his shoes, and headed out on his bike towards school.
The high school he attended in Guo City was quite average, with a moderate college acceptance rate, not particularly high or low, and the environment was neither too good nor bad. The only consolation was the lack of the legendary toxic track and grimy cafeteria.
"Late every day! Don't you have a sense of time?"
He had just arrived at the classroom door when Xiao Ran, the discipline committee member who was in charge of roll call for the morning class, stared at him with a face that seemed to say 'one is unable to discipline someone despite caring for them'.
"Do you have to be as fierce as a tiger every day? Don't you have a bit of a gentle cell?" Li Danggui retorted.
"You…"
"Xiao Ran, ignore him. With his consistent bottom-three ranking grades, he won't be able to get into university. Just let him be. He'll just be society's scum in the future."
"Zhao Feng, mind your words," Li Danggui replied coldly.
Being insulted early in the morning for no reason, anyone would be upset.
However, Zhao Feng showed no intention of restraining himself, "I'm just stating the facts. You can't handle it? How about you act cocky when your grade surpasses mine?"
Although Zhao Feng was arrogant, he had the capital to be so. His grades had always been in the top three of the class. It was a piece of cake for him to get into a second-tier university. If he performed extraordinarily well, there was a hope for him to get into the first-tier university.
"Idiot."
Li Danggui let out a cold laugh, entered the classroom, and took his seat.
Just like usual, he ended up dozing off on his desk throughout the morning lesson till he was awakened by his ankle, either from hunger or the urge to urinate.
But today, what woke him up was the constant vibration of the cellphone in his pocket.
Upon checking, there were more than 99 WeChat messages.
He didn't remember joining any WeChat group chat. The only family group chat he was in was set to 'Do Not Disturb'. Hence, he wondered where all these messages were coming from.
"Three Realms at My Beck and Call, what an intriguing group name."
He murmured something to himself, cloaked behind a large stack of books, sitting alone in the classroom corner next to the garbage heap, he entered this peculiar group chat.
The group chat had more than two hundred members, and the number was steadily increasing.
When he opened the contact list, oh boy, these people's names were incredibly odd.
Primus, Heavenly Sovereign, Jade Emperor, Queen Mother of the West, Monkey King, Erlang Shen, Buddha, Guanyin, Dragon King of the East Sea, Kṣitigarbha...
He scrolled down; each name was all too familiar to him, all characters that existed only in mythology.
At the time, the group was having a heated discussion, Monkey King and Erlang Shen were the most active.
Heavenly Sovereign: Thanks to everyone for their support. Everyone should chat regularly, bolster the atmosphere. Currently, peace prevails in the three realms, so let's consider this leisurely fun
smile face
.
Erlang Shen sent a photo, captioned, “Helped my father-in-law, the Dragon King of the West Sea, eliminate a thousand-year-old water demon again today.”
In the picture, he was clad in golden armor, holding a Trishul, standing atop a giant water demon hundreds of feet tall and taking a selfie. He even pulled off a cheeky victory sign.
Jade Emperor: Excellent work, nephew
thumbs up
.
Queen Mother of the West: Seconds the motion
giggle
.
Monkey King: Erlang, you're bragging much for a mere thousand-year-old water demon? You need to up your game
scorn
.
Dragon King of the East Sea: Next time, if a thousand-year-old water demon appears in my Eastern Sea, please bless us with your assistance, Erlang
fist and palm salute
.
Erlang Shen: No problem, I love hunting demons and subduing evil, unlike a certain scruffy monkey
laughing and crying face
.
Monkey King: Erlang, who are you calling scruffy?
angry face
.
Erlang Shen: Whoever agreed can speak up, alright?
Rolls eyes
Great Sage Equal to Heaven: Old Dragon, next time something happens in your Eastern Sea, I'll come to help you.
Hmph
Dragon King of the Eastern Sea: Great Sage, you really shouldn't! Please don't dismantle my dilapidated Dragon Palace like you did five hundred years ago.
Scared
Great Sage Equal to Heaven: Old Dragon, are you doubting my integrity?!
Dragon King of the Eastern Sea: I wouldn't dare.
Guan Yin Bodhisattva: Where is the Dragon King of the Western Sea? Isn't he online? Why is he not speaking?
Confused
Dragon King of the Western Sea: Bodhisattva, why are you looking for me? I'm playing with drifting bottles, just picked up Chang'e's bottle.
Tianpeng Marshal: What? You dared to pick up Chang'e's bottle? Wu Gang, aren't you going to do something about it?
Wu Gang: I'm cutting trees, no time.
Tianpeng Marshal: What did Sister Chang'e say?
Dragon King of the Western Sea: Special Osmanthus Ice Mask from the Lunar Palace, huge end-of-the-month discount. If you are interested, add my WeChat ID changeXXXX.
Chang'e: Oh, I've been doing micro-business recently.
Blushing
Guan Yin Bodhisattva: Can't you at least show some thanks to Erlang Shen? All you do is play around.
Scolding
Erlang Shen: Helping out father-in-law should be a given!
Dragon King of the Western Sea: Ah, it’s a must. I'll send a red packet as a token of my gratitude.
Erlang God: My father-in-law secretly messaged me
hush
West Sea Dragon King: Messaged privately, and also in the group. I'm in a good mood today, so Little Dragon will splurge a bit.
Jade Emperor: Can't wait!
All gods: Same here.
West Sea Dragon King: I'm ready.
Li Dang returns to the chat, curious. Even though he doesn’t quite understand what this group of deities are bragging about, if there are red envelopes to grab, he’ll do so. Perhaps he could snatch enough to buy a few packets of spicy strips.
The formerly active group chat suddenly fell silent. Everyone stopped typing, afraid that they might miss the chance to snatch a red envelope.
As the red envelope appears, Li Dang, who has been single for eighteen years, swiftly clicked it open.
However…It's all been snatched.
“What the heck?”
He was so shocked that he was left with his mouth agape. A total of fifty red envelopes and within two seconds, none was left.
He smacked his lips, his spicy strip plan ruined again.
However, when he opened the red envelope to see what it contained, he was frozen. Because the red envelope sent out by the West Sea Dragon King, was not money at all.